Busayo and Kunle had been married for five years, sharing a cozy home in Ibadan, plenty of laughs, and a genuine love for each other. But despite their easygoing partnership, there was one topic they never quite managed to tackle without tension—money. Kunle often preferred to handle his finances on his own, while Busayo had her own approach, shaped by her years of budgeting and saving before they met. The disconnect grew each month, and neither of them was sure how to bridge the gap.
It wasn’t until a month before their fifth anniversary that Busayo decided it was time to confront the issue head-on. She felt that if they were going to build a future together—whether that included saving for a new car, investing in a business, or simply planning a special vacation—they needed to work as a team. Kunle, though initially hesitant, agreed to start having regular “money talks,” hoping it would bring more clarity and alignment to their financial life together.
Starting the Money Conversations
The first money conversation took place at their favorite café on a quiet Saturday morning. Over coffee, Busayo broke the ice by sharing a simple insight about her monthly expenses and asking Kunle how he managed his. She made sure to keep her tone relaxed and avoided any language that might make Kunle feel judged or defensive. Kunle, relieved by Busayo’s gentle approach, began to open up too, admitting that he sometimes felt overwhelmed by bills and often avoided looking at his account balance to keep stress at bay.
For many couples, the hardest part about talking finances is getting started. Like Busayo and Kunle, one of the best approaches is to start simple and keep the conversation easygoing. Rather than diving into numbers, talking about general financial habits and concerns can help both partners ease into a rhythm without feeling pressured or judged.
Making Money Conversations a Routine
After the success of their first talk, Busayo and Kunle decided to set a regular schedule for money conversations, calling them “Check-in Fridays.” They chose a relaxed time after dinner, which gave them both the chance to unwind from the day before diving into money matters. With each talk, their comfort grew, and they began to approach finances as a team.
Regular check-ins allowed them to address small issues before they grew into big ones. For example, when Kunle mentioned his credit card balance was creeping up, they brainstormed ways to pay it down together. They discussed which expenses to prioritize and which to cut back on, creating a balance that suited both their needs.
Setting a regular schedule for money conversations helps normalize them as part of the relationship, making it less likely for either partner to feel blindsided by sudden financial concerns. Like Busayo and Kunle, making it routine turns it into a habit and a natural part of life together.
Establishing Shared Financial Goals
As Busayo and Kunle continued their Check-in Fridays, they realized that their finances were truly intertwined. It wasn’t enough to handle money independently—they needed shared goals. They listed out what they both wanted for the future: Busayo hoped to build a side business, while Kunle dreamed of traveling more frequently.
With those dreams on paper, they began working out a plan to make them real. They created a savings strategy and even opened a joint account specifically for these goals. Each month, they set aside a small amount, feeling a shared sense of purpose every time they contributed. Setting clear, mutual goals made their money talks more purposeful and exciting, giving each conversation a sense of forward motion.
For couples, defining shared financial goals creates motivation to stay financially united. Working toward something they both value reinforces their commitment and gives them a reason to keep discussing finances, even when it might otherwise feel challenging.
Being Open About Financial Strengths and Weaknesses
As the conversations deepened, Busayo and Kunle began revealing more about their personal money habits. Busayo was a natural saver, careful with spending, and always looking for a deal, while Kunle was more inclined to splurge on things that brought him joy. Busayo admitted that she sometimes felt anxious about Kunle’s spending habits, worried that it would keep them from achieving their goals. Kunle, on the other hand, appreciated her restraint but wished she’d loosen up occasionally.
This honesty allowed them to appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses, creating a better understanding of where they could compromise. Kunle began setting a monthly “fun budget” for himself, so he could enjoy the things he loved without overspending. Meanwhile, Busayo agreed to take a small amount of money each month to spend on something she wanted, rather than always focusing on saving.
By being open about their differences, they found a way to balance each other out and even learned from each other’s habits. For couples, acknowledging each other’s money strengths and weaknesses isn’t about trying to change each other—it’s about finding a balance that respects both partners’ financial personalities.
Supporting Each Other Through Financial Setbacks
About a year into their money journey, Kunle faced a setback: his company was downsizing, and he was left without a job. As a primary contributor to their income, this was a difficult time. But rather than retreating into silence or worry, Kunle leaned on the trust they’d built through their regular money conversations.
Busayo and Kunle re-evaluated their finances together, finding ways to cut back and conserve their savings. Busayo’s careful budgeting came in handy, helping them manage expenses while Kunle searched for new work. Kunle, deeply grateful for her support, realized that building a foundation of trust had prepared them to face this challenge together.
Financial setbacks are inevitable, but a culture of open communication makes it easier for couples to support each other through tough times. Just as Busayo and Kunle found, tackling challenges together can build resilience and create a stronger partnership.
The Path Forward
For Busayo and Kunle, fostering open money conversations has been transformative, giving them greater unity, trust, and shared purpose. What started as a source of tension has become a core part of their relationship, empowering them to pursue their goals together.
Building a culture of money conversations doesn’t mean every talk will be easy. But by taking small steps, setting regular check-ins, and being honest about goals and challenges, any couple can create a healthy financial partnership. Like Busayo and Kunle, you’ll find that open, respectful dialogue about money is one of the best investments you can make—not only in your finances but in your relationship as a whole.
